Of course, the question on everyone’s mind is, “why did Uezu San drop Aisho?” Strangely enough, he didn’t explain why. So all explanations are only conjecture. One of the basic truths I have learned is; love does not try to change a person, but rather accepts this person as he or she is. And so it is that when he announced he was letting go of our combined work, I searched in my heart, and found only gratitude for what we had shared. I wrote a poem and read it to him.

We then did our last healing circle together which was deeper than ever. Afterwards, people were commenting how deeply touched they were by the healing, and Uezu San commented, “It is the combination of yin and yang which makes it so powerful. This transformation will be with you forever.” When he was leaving, I wept in his arms. And that was it. Below, I offer the poem I wrote for him, and by so doing, I invite you to peek into my heart and soul.

Beloved
Lion of God
You are divinely wild
To be near you is to know heaven while on earth
Your voice echoes in the inner sanctum of my heart
Calling me to be Love, each moment
With your touch
You tune my instrument to the sound of the universe
And the strings of my soul vibrate in ecstasy
Together
We have known the merging of sun and moon
And the delicate flower
Born of the union of East and West
We have tasted the nectar of working as one
And beyond all this
My lord,
It is you
Who has given me the ultimate gift
It is your touch
Your presence
Your magic
Which has opened me all the way to source
In that moment of sublime surrender
I abandoned all of my being
Into your hands, the hands of God
And remain,
In deepest gratitude
And in radiant love
Thank you for being
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for your courage

Love,
Sarita

A symbol for the Aisho flowering of consciousness

I had a wonderful time at the Osho Leela Tantra Festival last week (10-15th August), even though I was only there for a day – watch my video blog and hear all about it!

Love Sarita x

Much later as a rebellious eighteen year-old two very significant spiritual experiences occurred which were to cast their mark upon my entire life.

The first was a sudden dropping away of my faith in Islam as it was taught to me. This happened during a conversation with a fellow student where I simply realised with intense suddenness and amazement that I no longer believed in the faith I had grown up with. What further surprised me was that nothing had been taken away from me that my inner mood of reverence to the source of life flourished yet had lost its outer form.

The second experience was that before I ever heard of it, Tantra claimed me! Zen mind, beginners mind, they say – indeed this was the case for me. One of my first sexual experiences took me into the most intense and cosmic orgasm; an experience so expansive and pleasurable beyond anything I had ever anticipated. I could make no sense of it until a few years later I came across a book by Osho and upon reading about Tantric practices I exclaimed yes! This is what happened to me. So how could I not take up this scent and walk the trail to Tantra? Fifteen years later in 2004 I met and fell in love with Vincent, within months we were on retreat with Sarita and Geho. I had found my way back.

Now six years on having begun to teach Tantra, I look back and see that mysterious hands have guided me each step of my way to this path that all my life experience adds up to this quite naturally. And yet I was the last to know.

Since 1994 I have nourished myself with spiritual practice. Early on it was meditation and Qigong, then Shiatsu and Rudolf Steiner Pedagogy. This was supplemented with my then “bible” Louise Hay’s –You Can Heal Your Life, as I began the journey of helping myself recover from the raging violence and emotional neglect that also characterised my childhood.

This process of healing led me to the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. The four-year training was to become a healer but the path was to be healed. From the depths of my being the woundedness, pain and misconceptions of reality emerged. Yes it was chaotic and extremely challenging yet I could feel myself come back to life.

During this time I was teaching at St. Paul’s Steiner School in Islington, London. To be immersed in a community where the care for the child was so impeccable and imbued with reverence was a balm to me. Five years into this part of my journey I met my husband Vincent and this relationship, combined with Tantra, took me deeper into layers of my being I had been completely unaware of.

Today, nourished by a further three-year study in Non-Dual healing with Jason Shulman – a study which is informed by Zen and the kabbalah and is deeply Tantric, I feel surging creativity and joy as I mould new life from all these experiences.

Roxana runs a healing practice and teaches Tantra workshops in London with Vincent. From September she will be holding a fortnightly women’s sacred circle. From next year she will be teaching levels one and two of the seven level Soul Mate Tantra for Lovers.

To learn more about her work take a look at www.healingwithroxana.com

This is a meditation from the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, the sutra is:

“Blessed one, as senses are absorbed in the heart, reach the centre of the lotus.”

This meditation is using the heart principle, which transforms everything into love. It is very important in terms of not only life but also death, because the heart principle is trying every moment to transform any unfinished business into love. Whatever is not fully lived will be purified in the fire of love in the heart

You can use this meditation to awaken the maximum experience of the senses. At any time of the day when you are having a sensorial experience, you can close your eyes for a moment, absorb that experience in the heart and see how it feels. You can also do it as a specific meditation, with a partner:

Step 1

Blindfold your partner and stimulate their senses in turn: smell, taste, sound, touch and sight.

Smell: using natural scents such organic essential oils or flowers, wave them in front of your partner’s nose and allow them time to drink in the smell.

Taste: using different foods, offer all the tastes to your partner – salty, sweet, bitter, pungent, sour. If we use all the five tastes this will be very empowering for our life, because a rich and full life contains all these tastes.

Sound: you could use very soft music, or tinkling bells, a soft flute, or so on, simply murmur sweet nothings into your partner’s ear, or sing to them. Make sure you give them an experience of sound, then silence, sound then silence.

Touch: for this you can use caressing, massage, drape a silk scarf or a peacock feather over your partner – whatever comes to mind, be creative!

Sight: put on some wonderful music, remove your partner’s blindfold and do a dance for them. They are simply visually connecting with what they are seeing – you dancing!

Once you have been through all the senses with your partner, exchange. If you are doing this with a lover, it is a really beautiful prelude to love making.

For the person receiving all of these different sensorial experiences, just absorb all of it into the heart, each time.

Like to try more meditations like this? Then join Sarita’s Vigyan Bhairav Tantra club! < http://www.schoolofawakening.com/vigyan-bhairav-tantra-webinar.php>

June 2010 by Roxana

What can I share with you of this retreat?

Silence.  A new found depth of meditation of being.

Love. Once again being shown that this is the fabric of my existence, of existence itself.

Death. Opening and releasing a little more of the ego’s clutching.

Union. My tears flowed freely all week, waves of the relief of returning home, a home I now see that I had never actually left, a home that it is impossible to leave, where could we possibly go that is away from the embrace of the divine?

Grace. Healings, held in the arms of two awakened masters.

Community. Being with the 60 or so participants each sharing this thirst for union with God.

Hospitality. The gifts so freely showered upon us by our open-hearted Norwegian friends.

Song. Raising our voices in poetry and praise.

Dance. Of course, where Sarita leads the party soon follows!

Vincent and I will be integrating these gifts for many months so rich was the experience of this retreat, I urge you all to taste the liberation offered through the presence of this unique combination of two awakened masters. In true Tantric style they embrace so many opposites in their teaching together.  Such a profound transmission of Shiva and Shakti, yin and yang, western woman and eastern man, classical solitude of meditation and Osho’s radical richness.

Roxana teaches levels 1-3 of the School of Awakening Soulmate Training for couples, and also her own Tantra groups in London.

If you are thinking that you need ‘time out’ for quiet reflection and to connect with yourself again in these busy lives of ours then I would definitely recommend the Silent Meditation and Live Food Detox Retreat at Croydon Hall facilitated by Sarita, a beautiful and wise woman. The structure was challenging for the likes of myself who hardly meditates, however, the joy of being silent, not talking, switching of mobile and laptop and not reading any books … but replacing this with meditating, chanting and spending luscious time doing yoga exercises with the wonderful and special Ekant was indeed a treat beyond my imagination! Coupled with this the joy of dancing, listening to wonderful music both live and recorded was enchanting. Zen walking in nature along with periods of meditating outside was beneficial in remembering this connection we all have to mother earth, the simplicity of life and just listening to the wonderful sounds of nature all around us. Beautiful and full of wonderment.

Coming into silence at Croydon Hall

This retreat has brought me back to remembering ‘my-self’ again after many months of challenge and upheaval in my life affecting my overall health and well-being. It was great to live in the moment and not think, do, or be interrupted in daily outside influences. It was a relief to remind myself that I am the captain of my own life, that the choices I make are mine, the thoughts I think are mine and my actions are mine, no one else to blame or judge. Just me…. and that I do have choices … Daily individual time in counselling with Sarita was welcome and blessed in her generous words of wisdom and abundant love.

Infused with all this, by allowing the expansion of time, everything seemed perfect and natural, unrushed and unhurried. Bliss. So the crème de la crème of this experience so to speak, (ha ha), was the extraordinary raw food delights prepared by the gorgeous Niten (who has boundless energy reserves, I tell you!) … a French chef who now lives in Ibizia. His passion and flair for the culinary expertise is totally beyond words…..  I can only describe the raw food diet as being back in ‘the Garden of Eden’ (not that I remember it too well, however, some memory stirred)…

A healing session with Chintan was a very special experience; an hour and a half of cranio sacral work alongside a very gentle approach to healing some very deep wounds and painful memories that emerged.

Despite feeling exhausted from months of personal inner chaos, lack of sleep, intake of too much junk food, addictive behaviours, menopause and painful knees (not in a great heap of health, I must say!) I did wonder if I would make it to the sessions which started at 6am and finished at 10pm ish .. then straight to bed.. however, it was a totally amazing inspiring experience and a love affair with myself, that I’d forgotten.  Recommend it? Absolutely!! ..

I have been home for nearly three weeks now. I have decided to continue meditating daily, have changed my diet and been taking steps to healing my addictive behaviours and being more loving to myself. It’s working, I am just starting to feel more energy and inspired about life again…

Thank you to Sarita and her wonderful team.

In blessings, love and peace

Vera Waters

www.veritasprojects.com

Partners came from all over the UK, India, Spain, Norway and the USA – even Australia (!) to be ‘in’ on Sarita’s last couples level 1 in June (from next year the first three levels of the training will be run by Roxana or Fiona, with different male teachers from the School).

As ever it is my privilege and joy to see couples taking the ‘rollercoaster ride’ through some of the difficult patterns that may have been causing some dissatisfaction or stagnation in their relating, and come into a greater depth of love and appreciation for themselves and their beloved. This time there were a few surprises – a number of people were clearly having Satori experiences – moments of enlightened perception and clarity ….. and, more down to earth, one couple managed to collapse their bed during one of their ‘love-appointments’ !!

The divine Praful and Peru

We were also gifted with a live concert of beautiful music by Praful and Peru. Praful is a highly talented blower of saxophones and flutes whose music I have admired for some years. Peru is a more recent discovery for me and this was my first time seeing her live. My goddess! She is a force of Nature when singing – together their performance was an exquisite transmission with a strong Tantric flavour that complemented our group work perfectly. Check out their CD ‘Breathing Love‘.

The group was truly a delight with most of the couples already expressing an intention to go ‘all the way’ to level 7 in 2012.

Suta teaches singles and couples groups with the School of Awakening, as well as with his own company. Choose Bliss Now – www.chooseblissnow.co.uk. He loves to help men open to the full range of their sexuality and is also a master bodyworker and healer.

Tantra Man Tantra Woman. Great name, great workshop.

And my third foray into Tantra with the School of Awakening since January. When I discover something that makes me zing I throw myself right into it. I couldn’t wait to get back to the impeccable surroundings of Croydon Hall for another dose of cosmic love.

This was the second time the School of Awakening has run this group. It was extended by a day, but even so it was jam packed with meditations and challenging, loving exercises, punctuated by more showers and tooth brushing than I usually manage in a month. That’s the thing about Tantra, you’ve got to be fresh, fresh, fresh; you never know when you might have to breathe on someone, or lovingly caress them.

I was both excited about and dreading the idea of intimate massage with men I had yet to meet. Please let George Clooney be there, I prayed. George wasn’t, but 26 luscious other people were.

If you’d been on my first workshop, you might have noticed I was constantly on the verge of tears. In my second, Sacred Sexuality, I was laughing like a hyena for much of it, but when it came to being comfy with being sexy, forget it. I was so uptight that when it came to a certain exercise involving a little bit of clothing removal, I managed to get through the whole thing without removing more than my cardy and one shoulder strap.

Suta and Sarita honouring the male and female

This time though I was far more at ease. Maybe because now I trusted Sarita and Suta (left). Maybe because they’d lined up a great team of assistants, some already familiar to me: Roxana, Shanti and Santoshi for the women, and Vince and Richard for the men. Maybe also because we women had an extra, gorgeous, gentle-voiced teacher, Verica. Lucky us.

I was back in the zone as soon as we’d introduced ourselves. Day one we spent doing exercises with the men, sharing about ourselves and some touch, and a sound meditation that took me to the other side of the universe and back.

For the next two and a half days we were with the women. I love being with women, discovering ourselves, each other and what being a sexual woman is all about. I can’t go into detail because that would spoil it for you, but if you’ve never spent time with your own sex doing Tantra then I highly recommend it.

The men and women came back together on day four in a ceremonial performance, which was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. I was too old, too fat, too not beautiful enough compared to all those luscious Tantrikas that surrounded me and seemed so at ease with themselves. In fact right up til the last moment I wasn’t sure I was going to do it, but I knew that if I didn’t I would regret it forever. So I did it. By the end of the night I had come a very long way from the cardy/shoulder strap scenario of my previous workshop, shedding shame and inhibition like an old skin to find a new glorious me underneath; that I liked much better.

Then the culmination of the workshop. Two intimate massages, each done with two men I barely knew. This was massage, not sex, but in a country where a normal massage leaves your knickers on and ignores your breasts, it was a challenge. It was a good job that by this stage in my Tantra journey I knew for sure that my yoni was pretty normal and maybe even pretty. The first massage was an incredibly powerful experience.  A feeling like I’ve never had before went up into my head and transported me somewhere that left me feeling like a 14 year old, innocent and very vulnerable; a feeling I never experienced as a teenager.

The impeccable surroundings of Croydon Hall

I went into a big crisis about massage two, hardly slept all night, needed help from my group of women to find me a man who I could feel safe with, and they rallied. I think up until then part of me, the bit that got trampled on as a kid in a dysfunctional family, didn’t believe that I would be supported, but as soon as I asked, I received. Thank you, women. And thank you to the man whom I did it with, a great big ride of healing and pleasure and then zonking out so completely that when I came to I felt like I’d been thousands of miles away for years and couldn’t believe I was still at Croydon Hall.

I floated home on a cloud of love for all the world, and am now plotting my next course.

Watch out for Catharine’s article on Tantra in the autumn issue of The Source magazine, the south-west’s magazine for all things eco and sustainable. Catharine is also a well-known Bristol columnist, and writes a regular blog on life, the universe and everything at http://catharinestott.wordpress.com/

Can Tantra help to transform jealousy?

Love Sita x

Answer

Jealousy is a red hot topic which trips up even the most dedicated meditator. Luckily, one of the meanings of Tantra is, ‘transforming poison into nectar.’ In this sense, we can use Tantra to transform any of the so called negative aspects of our life, including jealousy.

It is good to understand that in fact, if we are jealous of someone, this feeling comes about because we are projecting some un-lived aspect of ourselves onto the person we are jealous about. We are imagining that this person is able to have a level of fulfillment that we are denied. To heal this wound within ourselves, it is wise to ask the question, “if I could do whatever I wanted to right now, what would it be?”

Once you have found out what your underlying desire is, then you can create a meditation out of living it, as consciously as possible. In this scenario, it is important not to believe you need the other in order to act it out. You can distill your desire to it’s very essence, which means you going for your core need.  A sutra from the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra says:   “Objects and desires exist in me as in others. So accepting, let them be transformed.”

By accepting our desires, and acting them out as a meditation, we will be able to discover powerful lessons and insights which will enhance our clarity, wisdom and compassion. An important key in this is to be total. The more honest we are with our core desires, and the more total in acting them out, the more clarity and transformation will happen.  When you are doing exactly what you want, in the here and now with your full passion and creativity, it will be impossible to be in a state of jealousy. You will be so fully alive, so in the flow of who you are meant to be, that you will have no need to project your life force energy on another and compare. You will be in the flow. Jealousy can only exist in stagnation.

With love,

Sarita